I like me better (?)

I know what it feels like to be young in New York City. I (kinda sorta not a 100 percent and would deny if asked) know what it feels like to be drunk in New York City. I soooo wanted to have experiences that would let me say that I know what it feels like to be “in love” in New York City too but of course, that wasn’t in the books for me it seems. 

The first time it hit me, back in March of 2023, that I’m gonna be living in New York City in my early twenties was when I was at a concert in Mumbai and the opening act did a cover of “I like me better” by Lauv. I was recording, of course, and as he sang the lines “To be young and in love in New York City,” I whispered to myself with a happy tear in my eye (and my microphone picked it up too) saying “I might be!!” At that time, it was a secret between me and me, no one knew about my admit to (then) NYU. And I smiled in the car, all the way home because damnnnn!! I didn’t go to NYU because I got an admit to Columbia, just two days after this concert. 

It was that day and it’s today, almost two years later. I’ve recently become obsessed with this song again because I binged XO, Kitty season 2 and Peter Kevinsky appeared out of nowhere to the beats of this song. I gasped and almost teared up because of the nostalgia. And also because I realized I was only able to live out 2/3rds of the lyrics of this song. Which is still soooo much more than I had ever imagined back in 2018 when I first heard it while watching TATBILB. 

As I wrap up my super awesome 17 months in New York City, I am kinda bummed that my life never fully felt like this song here. I am a hopeless romantic at the end of the day (which I’ll also absolutely deny when asked) and it would have sent me to another dimension had I lived the remaining 1/3rd lyrics of the song here too. Who knows, maybe I’m meant to be “in love” in some other city, or state, or country. Maybe it’s not in the books for me till I’ve had a quarter life crisis. Maybe it’ll happen when (if I’m lucky) I get to live in New York City again. Or maybe it’s all an illusion and I need to get out of this delusion. Nobody knows!!

All I can say is, it was fun to be “young, drunk, and in love WITH New York City.” I hope that it misses me and my phone camera as much as I’ll miss living in and loving in. Until (maybe) next time <3

~ vee 🗽